Being a grandparent is wonderful, and most of us love being called Grandma or Grandpa, or whatever name is decided upon to signify our position in the lives of our grandchildren. Outsiders who use those terms for people just because they are a certain age, and not related, are being disrespectful.
Ageism is defined by the American Psychological Association as “Discrimination against older people because of negative and inaccurate stereotypes----and it is so ingrained in our culture that we often don’t even notice.” Some people believe it doesn't matter how we address older people, and that is a symptom of ageism that we must all avoid.
My first realization about ageism occurred when I was twenty-two at my grandmother’s bedside in the intensive care unit at the local hospital. She had suffered a heart attack and I was taking my turn to be with her during this ordeal as my mother would have done, if she were alive, along with my uncle and aunt.
The heart attack had happened two days earlier and Grandma had been in a coma since that happened. While I stood by her bed she opened her eyes and asked me to get the nurse, which I did immediately.
The nurse did come right away and when she approached my grandmother’s bedside she asked, “What do you need, Granny?”
At that surely my jaw dropped as I pictured my dear grandmother as she always was dignified, well-dressed, and soft-spoken with carefully-chosen words.
“What did you call her?” I asked the nurse, in what must have been a tone that reflected my shock and dismay, "We don't even call her Granny."
“What?” The nurse asked, “You mean, Granny?” She answered with a bit of annoyance in her tone, "Well, what should I call her?"
"Maybe you should call her Mrs. Stewart, That's what she taught us about addressing our elders who aren't family."
After living a lifetime, and surviving all that was necessary to reach the age of maturity, doesn't everyone deserve to maintain their own unique identity?
The Editor
A state of Grace is achieved when you know who you are in the eyes of God, and what Divine gifts you have been granted to share with others. We all have been given a purpose in life that is unique to each one of us, and it then becomes our responsibility to walk in the direction of our purpose using our God-given gifts to carry us through. It is through that process that Grace will come to us.
At 86 I am grateful to be alive and in fairly good health. Having experienced many health problems in years past, I never expected to live this long. By way of offering my thanks to God for each day, I begin each morning by looking out the window and repeating lines from Psalms 118 and 24. “This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad.”
In the promise that every one of us has a purpose for being alive, I believe that mine is to reach out to those around me who are having difficulties with the hope of lightening their load by offering love and laughter through small acts of kindness delivered with a smile. If I can make a friend laugh, at least for a time, the sadness due to the pain or fear goes away at least for then.
It doesn’t take a great deal of effort on my part to arrange a little get-together where there are light refreshments. Include a game or two, and a silly skit and I have created some time away from troubles for a couple of hours. I have been doing this for most of my adult life and the joy I receive from offering these small, but focused acts of kindness is such a Blessing to me that I believe I spend most of my time in a state of Grace for which I am very grateful.
Jan, New York State
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